Kids Say the Silliest Things


When asking my daughter’s name, she will answer each and every time, “My name is Princess Lily.”

“Mommies eat the babies as seeds, which grow in their tummies, then they poop them out again when they are done growing,” said by my son, Tyler, at the age of four, when I was pregnant with his sister.

“Shoes keep your feet from falling off when you are walking a long time.” Princess Lily’s five year old logic.

“Butterflies are the dead people watching their loved ones.” My son’s logic after my grandmother’s funeral when a butterfly landed on my knee.

“Money grows in our basement over night.” Tyler says this when he asks me for money for a new video game. When asked why he never harvests the money, he tells me it’s because he doesn’t have magical adult eyes like me, so of course, that naturally means he cannot see it growing.

“My mom is a ninja!” Lily loves shouting that one to anyone, family, friends and strangers alike. She believes this because I always know when she has gotten into the cookie jar. It’s of course, not that I can hear her opening it or the chocolate on her lips and cheeks that give it away.

“Sleeping is boring. I don’t want to sleep. I’m not even tired,” said by Lily, seconds before she starts snoring.

Every morning before school, Tyler has to remind me, “School is dumb, Mom. I’m not even learning anything!” I’m not sure how he thinks he knows how to read or do math if he isn’t learning it at school. He’s always telling me something new he (didn’t) learn at school when I pick him up though.

My son likes to point out he has to eat healthy and that he is currently eating healthy, seconds before he stuffs his mouth with a doughnut or cookie. I think his idea of healthy is a little different than the world’s idea of healthy.

“Boogers are thoughts falling from your head. That’s why I have to pick them so I can remember them later.” Lily’s response when I tell her to stop picking her nose.

Tyler has gym every Monday and Friday at school. Every time I pick him up he has to remind me he nearly lost his legs while running around during gym. Because running can make your legs fall off, according to him. But only running while in gym. Running around at the park or during recess are no problem. I think it’s safe to assume he isn’t fond of athletics.